This is my first question, Franco.
Start.
Why didn't you want to play in this movie?
I didn't want to be in this movie, because I didn't know if it is shown in Italy...
and I am not interested in this kind of movie!
What kind of movie is it?
A movie about my life!
About the four years since I met you!
So you didn't want to play in your own movie?
No, because... my story is none of their business.
Is your story something special?
Not at all! It's just... nobody has to know how I lived!
But maybe that's why it is important!
Why is that?
Because you lived very unusual. Don't you think so?
Yes, but...
How did you live?
Like just a few boys my age.
They live at home with their mother and father, go to school, go to work and so on.
But I lived on the streets, I ran away...
those four years were very hard...
but I tried to find my place in life.
What do you mean by that?
I tried to go on with my life...
to be able to live alone...
nothing more! Just because I didn't want to live with my parents.
I wanted to live on my own, stand on my own two feet.
- How old are you now? - Seventeen going on eighteen.
And when you left home?
Thirteen!
17 years
16 years
15 years
13 years
Rome, city of openness.
Men are coming and going.
World capitol of souls
between east and occident.
A mixture of greatness and misery
at the banks of the river Tiber
grey and blurry.
You give love with force from the left
and the right.
The crazy Rosa.
Hangs at the balustrade.
Lies down in the river.
Like it is her bed.
Skyscrapers made from concrete.
Huts made from cardboard boxes.
You holy everlasting roman outcast.
Biological and vital is the price.
Of your fatness, you clerically mistress.
We were together, because...
but you really got on my nerves!
- I got on yours? - No, I got on your nerves!
You got on mine?
You ran after me, of course!
And why do you think that is?
You wanted to... fuck me all the time!
Or... whatever...
When I saw you all the time... at the end
we were together. That was okay for me.
You had a bed at home so I don't have to...
sleep on the streets. So I slept at your place...
and with time it became a friendship.
We were real good friends.
We were together every day, were going out, ate pizza...
and made photos...
went to the cinema and watched a movie. We were together everywhere.
Even at Massenzio, this open air cinema.
That's how it was back then...
and at the end I really liked you a lot.
We became real good friends...
good friends...
and you liked me a lot.
And I liked you. That's how it was back then.
One day a friend dragged me...
to Circo Massimo.
I didn't know what was happening there.
So I asked him, what's happening here and he told me:
,, I shouldn't be afraid. I could make money over here!"
I really didn't know that you can earn money that way, with men and so.
And then I saw how it worked.
Just let them suck me off.
Or something else.
And they gave me money. 10, 15 or 5 thousand Lira...
And that's all...
With time I went there more often...
and when I was on the streets... at that time I had already ran away from home...
I said to me, okay I will just stay here at Circo Massimo.
At night I slept someplace, an empty truck for example...
or at the station in an empty train or somewhere else.
I was very young at that time, didn't know a thing...
just saw the money. 10 or 20 thousand Lira...
All the boys go there, sure.
All the boys do that because of the money...
for the first time and maybe... what do I know...
without money when they get to know each other, become friends...
and that's it basically.
I want to be the man!
"Every day at war
against your flower of evil
against your unrighteous sons
till black despair
expelled and buried in the underground
at the station
where bodies creep along
that never see the sun.
Skyscrapers made from concrete.
Huts made from cardboard boxes.
You holy ever-lasting roman outcast.
Biological and vital is the price.
Of your fatness, you clerically mistress."
"Where do you hide the bold young boy.
Your bright rascal Who ran away from the, Borgata'
Because he didn't want to wait for a miracle."
I ran away from home, because I couldn't stand my father.
He wanted to me to sit home on Sundays...
but I wanted to swim or got to the cinema.
And when I came back at nine in the evening he screamed at me.
I couldn't stand that and one day I said to myself...
okay, I will pack a few things and run away.
That's when I met this guy, this gay guy, at Circo Massimo.
You meet one at every corner.
They are everywhere, at the Colesseum, at Monte Caprino...
And they behave very strangely.
You know immediately what it's all about.
With their funny movements.
That's where I met this gay guy...
who dragged me immediately to another one...
who dragged me to a third one, like a relay.
So, one gay guy shows me another gay guy...
who shows me a third gay guy and so on... like among friends.
Really... one friend drags you to his friend...
and this friends to his friend and so on.
You should call it 'Circo Homosexual' instead of Circo Massimo..
Because everybody goes there like in a real circus.
You can be sure they would pay for tickets, to watch all the gay guys.
Life back then was horrible...
always afraid the police would catch you...
or afraid of somebody else, like the Moroccans...
or afraid to get ill.
What kind of illnesses?
A lot!
For example?
Syphilis and gonorrhea for example...
crabs, lice...
Why were you afraid of the police?
Because I ran away from home.
So I had to hide when the police arrived.
My mother indicated me as missing...
she even wanted to call the papers...
but that's when I called her...
and everything was fine again!
That was hard for you, did you tell her how you lived? Were you forced to live that way?
Of course I was forced to!
You worked the streets?
Yes.
And you were thirteen?
Maybe fourteen!
How does a boy that age get the idea to work the streets?
It just happened...
because of the money.
I lived on the streets and couldn't get work.
I was too young.
I couldn't do anything else...
so I was forced to work the streets!
But try to remember...
how did you think of it for the first time? You were just thirteen!
Because of the money. I learned very fast that it is a way to earn money!
I worked at the Stazione Termini and in the park close to the station.
There always were pals and friends, gays of course...
Carlo for example...
or Giorgio, Maurizio, Enzo and...
Damned. What was his name again?
Stefane was his name... and you were there, Bischoff!
No erase that! Simon was there!
All these guys!
That's how it was. We were on tour or did something stupid...
or something funny... we played football all day went to the arcades.
On tour all day... or we chat up guys. That's when we were still gay.
We were gay ourselves, were on tour all the time...
we did something exciting.
Always on tour... that's how I lived back then.
One day at Circo Massimo...
the police arrived at Circo Massimo.
They came to us and wanted to see an ID.
I do have small eyes, don't I?
So one of them thought I took drugs because my eyes were so small.
"You damned junkie. Injected a load, didn't you?"
"No. You're crazy or what? "That's what I answered.
I shouldn't have, I guess. That's when they took me and beat me up.
Got 4 or 5 fists into my face.
Wait... I do have scar. Look. on my hand.
They even kicked me with their boots. You know these boots...
with metal at the front?
I got kicked with those.
They hit my arm as well... here...
you can still see that. They were kicking real hard with their metal boots.
You can still see that... here... I was fourteen back then...
but they let me go afterwards.
They let me go and went themselves. Slaps in the face, kicks, everything you can imagine.
How was it where you lived before?
I lived at Circo Massimo!
No, before that, at your mother's place!
Ah, okay. I just lived with my mother!
Where was that?
In Torre Gaia!
What kind of neighbourhood is it?
A Borgata! A suburb!
What does Borgata mean? How do you live there?
Like everywhere else!
But it's different from the place you live now?
Of course it's different!
All these pals live at a Borgata...
even farmer live there...
Now I live in EUR.
That's were better people live, posh people!
You prefer that?
Of course!
What kind of problems did you have at home? You fought with your father?
And why?
He wanted me...
to got to school and to work directly afterwards.
And to go to the Navy as well.
I didn't want to. That's why I left!
And that's what you do now!
What do I do?
You are working and live a decent live!
Yes, but the way I want to!
But your father... Is he satisfied with you now?
Of course!
My eye twitches!
When we moved to Rome...
we found this hole of an apartment in Terre Gaia.
You can erase that as well, Torre Gaia.
Okay, let it be!
So we moved into that hole and got used to it.
My father...
this stepfather was a bricklayer. That's how it was... that's how we lived back then.
Of course we are not rich.
Of course not. We are not rich but we survive somehow.
We are eight in our family...
and we lived in a small apartment with a bathroom, a kitchen and one room...
where my mother and father slept with the small children and this other room.
I remember when...
What do I remember?
My father, no my mother, we moved within the neighbourhood.
We had a damaged buggy, you can imagine...
where you put small children in...
these small things, babies of course.
And this thing, this plastic thing where you hold it...
it was totally damaged, so we threw it away...
and filled the buggy with boxes.
That's how we moved around. I have been on one side...
my little brother on the other side... and we sold these boxes.
Really, one day we made 25 thousand...
that's what my mother told me, but I remember it myself.
No no... these boxes where you put eggs in.
You know where the eggs are put in, eggs from chicken.
We sold these boxes and made 25 thousand Lira one day...
and that's how earned our living back then!
Daily News: Rome March 13th, 1983.
Circo Massimo was cleaned of bushes and thugs!
That's much better. The place gets a new face and gets back into the possession of the public.
This place will now be used by everybody, not secretly by just a few.
This historical and archaeological important area will be cleared
by a small group of gardeners working for the city.
The previous vegetation made Circo Massimo an wilderness
instead of a park that can be used in its whole cultural spectrum."
Daily newspaper, Il Messaggero".
The Circo Massimo before.
This cleaning was resolved by the principal of the office for horticulture
Luigi Celeste Angrisani (Socialist Party)
after Circo Massimo was classified by the association of nature lovers
and by the police as an area that is to dangerous to walk in.
Daily newspaper, La Republica".
What kind of men? How old were they?
Around thirty, twenty five.
Not older?
Thirty two.
Even older?
- Forty, fifty. - And older than that?
Between forty and fifty.
Sixty as well?
- No, no! - Why not?
- Which one? - Just asking!
You wouldn't do it with men aged sixty?
And how much do you get?
10, 15, 20, 50 thousand! 100 thousand from the rich!
And what did you have to do to?
What do you think?
What you have to do as a hustler!
But when somebody gave you 50 thousand, did he want something special?
Of course, they were crazy... sadists...
or they wanted to get beat up or they wanted to be taken from the back...
or I don't know!
- And you did all of that! - Everything!
- Without any problems? - Couldn't care less!
- Would you do it again? - No, No!
Why not?
- Because I had enough! - What do you mean?
That I have thought about it.
That I think this kind of life is disgusting!
But you still sleep with men?
No, only women. Long live women!
But two men in love can be beautiful!?
Not for me! I did it but...
But you were in love with men?
Yes... in love? I liked him a lot, that's all!
Have you been in love or not?
Not even with Renato?
Maybe in the beginning. No, not even then!
I liked him a lot!
Who is Renato?
A friend!
And how old is he?
He is.... around thirty five!
That's not correct! He is already fifty!
No, just a moment. He is forty five.
If the whole world was gay...
if all men go with men and all women with women...
if it was this way...
in that case I would see a man together with a woman...
as something unusual. Gay as well... I would use the same word...
and lesbian, in case she was together with a man.
Gay... this vulgar word.
I myself don't hold anything against it, I've always preferred...
to be together with them instead of my pals... in my age, I mean.
I think everybody has made an experience...
like that at some point in his life. Everybody!
It's good when a gay guy gets married.
That's the right thing to do!
You have to admit that! Just because of the other people talking. See, it's more than a year now...
that I am together with Renato, maybe one and a half year.
The doorman sees how I walk up.
I could be a nephew as well...
but how often has he said that?
He must have a lot of nephews!
And now Renato will get married too.
If somebody is together with a gay guy...
everybody will say he is gay!
And if he gets married...
and kisses his wife, everybody will say...
he isn't gay after all!
People are really daft!
But he was gay. Who knows... if I get married...
will I be... anyway?
Maybe I will become gay...
like all of us.
Hey boy!
We know each other.
We have seen each other often.
At night.
I am...
how do you call me? You call me a homosexual!
And I know you. You are the tough guys.
We met very often!
In the gardens, in the cottages, in the parks...
do you remember?
Then I will remind you! Listen.
If you pass by at night
I will be there... singing, dancing...
I will make a lot of fuzz to get your attention.
And you are always on time.
Good boys...
with your strong shoulders and your beautiful thighs.
Strut your stuff.
Real tough guys...
and how do you talk to me?
Hey faggot! Do you have a cigarette?
By the way, just wanna ask you something.
I'm really not into this kind of thing.
You call yourselves by female names...
you aren't girls, are you?
Are you born this way or do you get it somehow?
I really have no clue.
I would be interested.
What do gays have down there?
A cock? A faggot with a cock?
And what do you do with it?
How does it work with you gays?
Would you show it to me? Just out of curiosity!
You gays really do have a dick!
Listen to me closely!
How we were together now we are not allowed to come together again!
Because I can't stand guys like you!
You don't like women...
it's disgusting!
Yes, that's what you are!
Sorry, was just a mood.
Don't take it too seriously.
I could have said it in one word:
You are an asshole!
And I am sorry for you,
'cause you have one life only!
And your life is rather lousy.
You have to change all the time.
But everybody does what he has to do!
I will go now.
I like the fresh air and I like the sea.
And if I am far away from you I will feel much better.
Bye!
30 thousand for a blow-job in your car!
I don't have a car!
No car?
Where do I take you?
Not even one bush around here. A big thank you to the city for cleaning up.
Do you have money?
Money!
You don't have any money?
Listen, darling. Another time!
Look what we've got here!
Ouch! This damned leg hurts tonight!
So lovely and decent is...
my mistress when she says hello mellifluously.
What do you want from me? What do you do here?
When her climbing pale ray...
enters our doomed cage...
and shows four faces as pale as mine...
until I overcome the pain in my hands.
She said I wanted to gloat.
They opened up because of hunger...
and said:
Father, feast on us, we suffer...
and lessen our woe, because this flesh is full of it.
Descends from you... you can undress us!
So lovely and decent is my mistress when she says hello mellifluously.
There is no respect for a decent lady!
Every time you look at me...
you have to intercede. You are vulgar!
You and your stories!
I have seen a dead man at Circo Massimo!
How? Who?
He lay in a puddle of blood!
Don't you hear? A casualty at Circo Massimo!
Did you know him? What do you care!
Look at those cute boys! Come with us!
- Where to? - Home!
Already occupied!
Oh, sailors!
Safe us, we are drowning!
Hey faggot, what are you looking for?
How tanned you are! Have you been to the sea?
No!
Shall we go together tomorrow?
Stop it! You get on my nerves!
How are you?
Who's that guy? Does he have money?
We went to clubs. There were lesbians...
gays and freaks. I haven't been there before...
in that club. Suddenly Renato turns up...
he was drunk and said to me...
I like how you dance!
That's almost how he said it.
Then he came closer and asked me to go with him.
I said why not. Let's go to your place!
I want to stay another 30 minutes, he said...
I am here with friends!
I said okay and we went to his home.
We walked home and slept together...
of course!
You always liked older men, up to fifty!
No, no... Yes, maybe back then!
- Back then? - Not really. Not men... Nonsense!
But you have been together with Renato. He was your friend.
I think you loved him and he was fifty!
No, that's not true. I didn't fall in love with him!
I just became his friend That's all... friend or his son...
his brother, whatever you want.
And what did you become exactly?
I became a man!
And regarding your relationship with Renato?
That's just friendship!
He's like a father to me!
What do mean? Like a father?
He cares for me like all fathers do!
Did you need a father?
I didn't need one, but who could have said...
that it turned out like that. And I was fine!
Does he give orders?
No! I give orders!
Are you sure?
I am! In the beginning he patronized me...
but then I told him that it doesn't work that way!
I got angry one day and told him...
it can't go on like that. I will leave!
And now I do what I wanna do.
I have girl now, every sunday.
In the past I was together with him every Sunday, we went places.
Now I go with a girl.
We have to find a job for you...
and then we will travel to Greece, to Africa.
You'll see, your life will change now!
But I don't like that you sleep with others!
And what do we do with this hair. Let's cut them in a presentable manner...
not as unkempt. We will cut them...
maybe use a conditioner...
- What does the boy do for a living? - We're looking for a job.
He could work for us!
Renato, your friend, got married aged 49.
Why?
He got married...
to have a safe future.
People were thinking: Why doesn't he get married?
Is he maybe... gay?
He is gay, but...
he wanted to have a safe future.
That way somebody will care for him...
if he doesn't feel good and...
because of the people talking differently now.
Oh, he got married, so he isn't gay after all.
Is it that bad to be gay?
For me... I don't know...
I've nothing against it.
I can't answer this question, because...
what can I say?
You don't want to be gay?
- No! - Why not?
Because! I don't like it.
Why should I be interested? I am not interested at all.
Would you change your life if you had the chance?
I can't change anything now! But... yes I would!
I have it all now, an apartment...
I feel good this way!
Are you happy?
Yes, I have a job and everything I need.
I wouldn't change a thing... If I could turn back time...
but I wouldn't make the mistake again... the one I made two years ago.
Franco - Alevino di Silvio, vampire - Franco Mazzieri drag queen - Vincio Diamanti, Shaman - Ciro Cascina
crazy woman - Rosa di Brigida, transvestite - Renato Faillaci Renato - Francesco Gnerre, female singer - Lara Toijaclan
voyeur - Lorenzo Alessandri boys - A. Retacchi, M. Pieruggi "Antia Ekberg" - Irene Staub, and many others
Subtitles: Michael Huber